Life is hard. Life is amazing. Life is many things. I have lived an amazing life. It also has been complex. This is the reason I started my blog back in 2019. The complexity of my life can be explained by first letting everyone know that I was adopted by my grandparents, but my biological mom was still in my life on a daily basis. This led to me having two mom figures in my life. My biological mom, Kelly, was taken from us too early from ovarian cancer in 2014. My grandma or adopted mom, Linda, just passed away this past week(Sept 10) after battling many ailments over the past few years- but ultimately it was dementia. I could not have asked for a better situation when it comes to how I was raised. This was the “amazing” part of my life. Having both of my mothers by the time I am 31 is the “hard” part of life. I am going to share the core life lessons that I learned from both of them. I am writing this for anyone who takes the time to read this now. I am also writing this for my daughter, Teagan, who is about to be born very soon. I want to share as many memories as I can about my moms to her, so that hopefully she can feel like she knows them as well. 

The core lesson that I learned from Kelly was “Be You”. Something that you may not know about me is that my birthday is one of the tougher days of the year for me. This is because it’s when I miss Kelly the most. When Kelly was alive I would always expect a 5 minute voicemail of the most drawn out “Happy Birthday” you could ever imagine. She would end it by telling me 100 different ways of how much she loved me. I can still hear those voicemails in my head today. She would always be at my baseball games and I could always expect the biggest hug anyone could ever receive after the game. As I write these words, I can feel her squeezing me as hard as she could. The passion that she loved me with showed in her everyday life as well. You always knew that you were going to get every ounce of her. Her love for our family was undeniable. She would always let all of us know exactly how she felt at all times for better or worse. Timing wasn’t her strongest asset, but I’ve learned that it is better to say the truth at the wrong time than to hold back the truth until it is too late. Using this life lesson has led me down a path that I’m proud of. 

The core lesson that I learned from Linda was servant leadership or love. At all times, she was thinking of someone other than herself. I would wake up everyday for school and she would have the best breakfast made for me. I would get home from school and have the best chicken parm made for the family. Everyone that knew Linda was the best cook and baker in the world. Her chocolate chip cookies were famous amongst everyone that knew her. The amount of work and detail that she put into her Santa cookies would shock anyone who saw them. She did enjoy the process of cooking and baking, but she enjoyed making others happier. Any time that you would try to do something for her or get her something, it would make her very uncomfortable. She was in her happy place when she was helping others. This may be a large reason why I feel so passionately for my coaching profession. Those at the highest level of coaching have the value of servant leadership. Seeing others benefit from what I have learned over the years makes it all worth it. 

The core lesson that I learned from both of my mothers was how important love is. I was engulfed by love the second I was born- and it is the reason why my life is so amazing. They showed me everyday of my life what love is. I was lucky enough to find my wife, Taylor, who was raised in a similar fashion as me. We both knew what love is. Love is not easy. I saw the hours that Linda would put in the kitchen. I saw the hours that Kelly would drive after work to come see me play baseball. Linda had already raised 5 kids and was done with that portion of her life. She gave up her relaxing lifestyle with her kids and grandkids to raise another child. Kelly gave me up to her parents so that I could live a better life. These are massive sacrifices that are included in our definition of love. Love has a very high standard for me and those who are in my life. A high standard is a key pillar to a successful life and I cannot wait to pass down these values down to my daughter, Teagan. 

“I love you, mom” has double the importance, and I’m forever grateful for all that they poured into me.